Change

"Onle change is certain."
- Heraclitus

So said a famous philosopher years and years before us. We love constancy. We need something to stay the same. But as I look back now, ten years, five, even one or just 2 months, things have definitely changed since then.

The world aroun me is different. The landscape, buildings, weather, city. My appearance has changed, my thoughts have changed, my values, memories, skills and fiilings.

The human mind has to change because the world changes constantly. That is the reason we have survived this far in the universe: The ability to change. As our race has "aged" through out the history, ageing in us individuals changes our mind as well. I've always felt that I'd want to see myself with couple of kids, a husband and a dog in a countryside, or that I'd want to live to be old and grey, because I've never been able to be happy that way. But as I've gained age and seen the change in me I now understand that I might not find those things so pressing in the future.

So in a way we need change. For the past two months I've been going through the death of my best friend and everything our special relationship ever consisted. I can clearly see the change in it: From acquaintances to what we eventually were, how it happened, and when.

Some would say that now that he's dead our relationship will never be the same, or that there isn't one at all. But in my mind, this is the only thing in my life that will no change, ever. Yet I would want it to. I'd need it to. But we'll stay forever this way. He'll be safe in my heart and my heart will go on.

Change is inevitable, to the better or worse. Also in health. As the world moves and life changes, all the external factors affect our body. Mental wellbeing and its changes affect the balance in our system. These changes cause stress and negative feelings, which do not make us healthier.

Right now I'm battling with symptoms which appeared pretty soon after my friend died. These changes have really shown me how fast all the stress and fear, sorrow, in our mind affect our body. And not to the better.

I've had to accept that my health will never get better, it can only stay the same or get worse. This is somehow missleading, because as we've noticed only change is certain. And yet, every time I'm in a sick-phase, I have to go through it all again. But that I've already accepted for good.

So if all things move and nothing remains still, in my darkest moments I can trust the fact that my feelings and emotions in the mind and the body will change one day. Hopefully that will be to the better.